Loving a 'broken' body

Keturah Charlesworth Author

Loving myself through chronic illness

I used to be a dancer. It was honestly my first love. It lit my soul up. And I wasn't fussed on what style of dancing. I did ALL the types. I would spin and twirl and point and leap. I was strong, and flexible. And I felt so alive!

On my way home from my most recent MRI I thought about joining an adult dance class again - and let out a little giggle to myself. You see, getting out of bed is a challenge at the moment. Or out of a chair. Things hurt and tingle and complain when I do too much. 

My chronic disease doesn't yet have an official name (I'm thinking "Jerk-face McGee" but still not 100% decided). But the doctors and specialists have their own ideas on a name for my clingy friend - but as yet, they're not 100% decided on what to call it either. 

When I'm good, I'm passable for a functioning human being... but when I'm not, I'm not. My symptoms come and go like an unpredictable tide. It's kinda like that game "Whack a Mole" - where you're not quite sure what's going to pop up next - or where. They range from quirky to debilitating... from frustrating to plain scary. 

And it's exhausting. I'm exhausted. Not only the physical, mental and emotional strain of my clingy, nameless friend, but also the strain of trying to figure it all out - appointments, tests, remedies, scans. And it makes loving myself all that much more challenging sometimes... 

It's not always easy to love a 'broken' body... but whenever I feel this way, its an indicator I need to give myself even MORE love!

Now, I use the word 'broken' with love. I use it as a true reflection of how I sometimes feel - simply 'broken'. 

So this lil blog is for all my fellow bent, broken or battling buddies out there. 

Whether you have an injury, a disability, or are struggling with an illness or disease which takes its toll on you and leaves you feeling a little 'broken' at times too. This one's for you. 

Tips for loving the 'un-loveable'

When we are faced with things that are hard to love - pain, limitations, stressors, exhaustion - it can be harder to love ourselves. To be in the present with ourselves when it's uncomfortable. And to balance rest with responsibilities. But there are ways to give ourselves the extra love we need to get us through. 

Double up on compassion

Compassion is one of the corner-stones for self-love and it becomes even more important when we're feeling physically, emotionally or energetically stretched. 

The need to treat (and talk to) yourself with love, care, understanding and patience is the most important tip when it comes to loving a 'broken' body. 

By having self-empathy you can gently recognise, validate and acknowledge all of the emotions and experiences you have and then make heart-centred decisions on what you need most to support you through them. 

Rest is best

Now, I could tell you til I'm blue in the face to 'take as much rest as you need' but you'd probably laugh at me - just as I'd likely laugh at you if you said the same to me. 

Rest isn't always easy to come by - especially when we're juggling ALL the balls of life. Work, family, life, shopping, cooking, cleaning, and a whole handful of health balls too. But it is incredibly important, especially with health challenges in the mix. 

So, perhaps instead of getting as much rest as you 'need', try to get as much rest as you 'can'. Make it a focus. A priority. 

And think of the things you do that really create a sense of 'rest' for you. Quality is key if you can't get the quantity you might wish you could. 

Mix up your mindfulness

Being fully present in a body that hurts, itches, aches, argues or is otherwise hard to be in can be challenging - and sometimes counter-productive. 

If you're finding mindfulness challenging try mixing up your practices. 

• Take the focus outside of your body by focusing on a candle, the ocean or anything else that you could enjoy peacefully watching. 

• Stay away from mindfulness or meditation practices that focus on problem areas if you find it distressing or uncomfortable (however, if this is the goal of your practice then by all means go ahead - sometimes we get some amazing breakthroughs when we look closer - but it's not for everyone and not for every day). 

• Play some peaceful music or follow a guided meditation that allows your mind to follow a peaceful or uplifting story or visualisation. 

• Explore interactive practices if being still for too long is uncomfortable or feels confronting. From mindful walking or exercise, to Tai Chi or yoga or even to EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) to help release or work on some of the uncomfy bits you're experiencing at the moment. 

Get ALL the support 

...and I mean ALL of it. From keeping in touch with family and friends to making sure you have all the professional supports in place to keep you on track.

Self love is about letting other people love you too! So don't be afraid to accept (or ask for) the help and support you need.

Ask your kids to tie your shoes. 

Call your best mate and ask them to tell you all the amazing things about you. 

Order Uber Eats. 

Book an appointment. 

Find a support group. 

Hug someone!

And if growing your self-love even more through challenging times is something that would help you to create more self-compassion, empathy and balance to your current state of 'broken-ness', then you could even get in touch with me for an intuitive coaching session to get some personalised support from someone who understands. 

Whatever and wherever you can find the support that is the right fit for you, then reach out for it.

Remember the art of Kintsugi

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery using golden dust to show where the pieces are held together. 

It re-creates unique and beautiful pieces of art from what could have been discarded, broken shards. It celebrates the broken. Highlights it. And makes it the feature of the new, repaired piece.

So remember, no matter how broken you might feel, your self-love holds your pieces together like beautiful golden threads. Keeping you whole, and beautiful and making you a unique treasure. 

While loving ourselves through pain, discomfort, exhaustion and the emotional toll that goes with it isn't easy - it's not impossible! 

In fact, it is exactly what you need. Love, love, and more love. 

So feel love, generate love, share love and be love. 

And let the golden threads of self-love that holds you together be what adds to your unique and beautiful soul. 

If you have any questions about my Intuitive Coaching sessions? Send me an email and let's chat. 

Categories: : self-love